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On The Table Read, “the best book magazine in the UK“, Carrie Frais talks about #LivingTheDream, Expat Life Stripped Bare, in which nine women share the emotional and practical realities of life away from ‘home’ – the highs and the lows of moving abroad…
Written by JJ Barnes
I interviewed Carris Frais about the book she contributed to and edited, Living The Dream, Expat Life Stripped Bare, what inspired it, and the work that went into creating it.
Tell me a bit about who you are.
I’m a British TV and radio journalist who has been living in Barcelona since 2006. Since moving to the Catalan capital from London, I have become a podcaster (The Soundtrack to My Life and Notes on Leadership are both on Spotify), I have set up three businesses: FiG, a communications & creative agency, MumAbroad, an online resource for international families relocating to Europe and 4Voices, a platform to encourage public speaking among teens. I guess I can now add ‘published author’ to my list of achievements!
When did you first WANT to write a book?
It hadn`t really crossed my mind to write a book until Covid struck. During that time (with so much time on my hands) many different thoughts flooded my mind about my own trajectory – from my life growing up and working as a broadcast journalist in London to moving to Spain and more recently losing both my parents – that I felt compelled to write it all down as part of an anthology incorporating other challenges that expat women face such as identity and rootlessness.
When did you take a step to start writing?
A couple of months into the Covid pandemic when we all realized that the health crisis was not going to be short lived I sat down at my computer and began to start the creative process.
How long did it take you to complete your first book from the first idea to release?
I managed to finish my chapter relatively quickly after about 6 weeks but had to wait for all the other eight authors to complete their own stories and then go through the editing process. All in all it took around 9 months from the initial idea to release (March 2020 to January 2021)
What made you want to write Living The Dream, Expat Life Stripped Bare?
The Covid pandemic made most of us stop and think. I had recently lost both my parents and realized that I hadn’t taken the time to properly understand how that had impacted me. My children were both fairly young, I had been working full time and I had a home to manage. With so many commitments and distractions, it would have been easy to simply carry on as things were until I retired.
When time stopped, I came to terms with the fact that I hadn’t grieved for my parents properly. I also realized that so much of my identity was tied up with them. I wanted to explore the concept of living away from ‘home’ and how that impacted on my sense of belonging as well as the challenges I faced living away from extended family and familiar culture. I also wanted to look at some of the other challenges that expats face so I decided to bring together friends and contacts living in different locations around the world to work on individual chapters.
What were your biggest challenges with writing Living The Dream, Expat Life Stripped Bare?
I toyed with the idea of not exposing my vulnerability so much but felt it would not reflect the title if I didn`t do so. I am generally not at ease talking about myself (I prefer asking the questions!) but I found that as soon as I started writing, my thoughts began to flow. I wanted also to ensure that my story was not a negative diatribe but a true reflection of expat life.
What was your research process for Living The Dream, Expat Life Stripped Bare?
Because the book is comprised of nine individual true-life accounts of life abroad, there was little research needed aside from the history of the word ‘expat’ which I tackled in the introduction.
How did you plan the structure of Living The Dream, Expat Life Stripped Bare?
I thought carefully about the order of each chapter. The opening chapter by Adrienne Walder was entitled ‘Calling Time on Drinking Culture’, which explored how easy it is to become a heavy drinker in an expat environment. Then we look at the challenges of setting up a business in a foreign country, which PR consultant Deborah Gray wrote about.
This chapter was followed by stories about motherhood, Brexit, culture shock, rootlessness, loneliness, grief and finally the last chapter by Jane Mitchell was about Identity, something many expats struggle with due to the lack of family close by and cultural differences.
On the flipside it means that we often work harder at finding out who we really are because we don`t have the safety nets of relatives and cultural familiarity on our doorstep.
Did you get support with editing, and how much editing did Living The Dream, Expat Life Stripped Bare need?
I did most of the editing supported by my publishers (Springtime Books) who gave me some great advice for the second edition such as including some ‘reflections’ pages from the authors and analysis from a psychotherapist (Leigh Matthews) specializing in expat issues. They explained that as well as being ‘entertaining’ readers like to take away something from their reading experience on a practical level.
What is the first piece of writing advice you would give to anyone inspired to write a book?
Find time every day to work on your book with no distractions. Covid was an exceptional situation which gave me extra time I never thought I would have during the years I am working. I think that writing another book with more time restraints would definitely be more challenging.
Can you give me a hint about any further books you’re planning to write?
I have been thinking about writing a similar anthology but with male authors. Men’s mental health issues are finally being talked about and it is often the case that men actual suffer more than women because they keep problems to themselves. I would like to explore this further and perhaps use a similar book for men to be able to express some of the challenges and anxieties they face when living abroad.
And, finally, are you proud of your accomplishment? Was it worth the effort?
I think writing the book has definitely been one of my proudest achievements. It was a lot of work and very time consuming but ultimately I hope that it has offered some valuable insights into the life behind the Instagram lens of those of us living away from ‘home’ and also some of the major challenges we all face in this ever-changing world.
Pop all your book, website and social media links here so the readers can find you:
Websites: www.carriefrais.co.uk and www.mumabroad.com
Facebook: @carrie.frais Twitter: @carriechantall1
Instagram: @carrie_frais LinkedIn: carrie-frais
#Living The Dream: Expat Life Stripped Bare
edited by Carrie Frais is published by Springtime Books (paperback, RRP £10) and available through bookshops & internet booksellers.
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