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On The Table Read, “the best book magazine in the UK“, yoga teacher and author Sarah Wheeler talks about her new book, Shadow & Rose, written to help women recovering from sexual violence.
Written by JJ Barnes
I interviewed Sarah Wheeler about her life, the experiences that inspired her to write her new book, Shadow & Rose, and how she helps women recovering from rape and sexual violence.
Tell me a bit about who you are.
My name is Sarah and some of my favourite things to do include getting into the cold sea, eating hummus, being with my friends for a cocktail, teaching yoga and Reiki and of course writing.
When did you first WANT to write a book?
Way back when I was in secondary school I realised how much I loved writing. This is something which I speak to in Shadow & Rose, the fact that since I was a teenager somehow I knew I would write a book one day. I thought it would be a fiction about empowered women characters like witches or medicine women. Turns out my first book Shadow and Rose would be a non fiction.
When did you take a step to start writing?
When I was recovering from sexual assault and rape in 2016/17 I was keeping a journal where I wrote and scribbled about how I was feeling, trying to make sense of something that is so hard to make sense of. Truthfully there is now sensemaking when it comes to coming to terms with sexual violence. The only real sense is that as survivors we did not deserve to be harmed and it was not our fault.
As a teen I always kept a very private diary which helped so much to get worries and feelings out of my head and on to the page as a way of processing. The healing power of writing was still potent in my early thirtieswhen I was recovering from sexual violence.
My journalling formed the foundations for Shadow and Rose although at that time I did not know I would write my book. In 2020 I opened my laptop to start forming the opening of Shadow and Rose.
How long did it take you to complete your first book from the first idea to release?
I had thought about writing a recovery guide since around 2019 but I kept that idea to myself. I was thinking, oh shit if I say it to somebody it will be real and then I will have to do it and what if it’s really bad or nobody wants to know my story or, who am I even to write a book?!
I had a lot of unkind internal dialogue with myself about starting my book. But in 2020 when the government shut everything down and took away people’s opportunity to earn money due to their handling of C19, I had a lot of time on my hands! I actually felt as ready as I was ever going to be (because there is no perfect time to start writing a book) so I began in early April 2020.
Shadow and Rose came out as a self published ebook in May 2021 and came out in paperback through The Unbound Press in August this year.
What made you want to write Shadow & Rose?
I could not find a book like Shadow and Rose when I was early in my recovery. I wanted a book I could turn to when I felt shitty, something that could help chill me out and let me know that everything would turn out OK.
I want women to know that recovering from sexual violence is totally possible AND we need to be realistic and know that it is a tough process. I wanted to share some of the things that helped me (and continue to help me) in my ongoing recovery and if that provides solace for other survivors then writing has been absolutely worthwhile.
What were your biggest challenges with writing Shadow & Rose?
What was most challenging was waiting for the book to come out because it reminded me of waiting to hear if the men who attacked me were going to be prosecuted. The empty space of not knowing what was going to happen with the case was mirrored by not knowing how the book would be received with the truth of my experience being there for women to read.
What was your research process for Shadow & Rose?
I didn’t do a ton of research. I mainly just wrote from my heart. However I did some research around the post traumatic growth theory and poly vagal theory.
How did you plan the structure of Shadow & Rose?
It took me a while to have a clear plan of the structure. I did a massive mindmap of all thing things I felt were crucial to let survivors know, along with the things I wish I had been told plus all of the self care tips that had worked for me.
One by one I picked out these ideas to write chapters around them while also taking my readser through a process of acknowledging what has happened to them in terms of how they had been harmed by sexual violence, and taking them step by step or week by week to build ways they can ongoingly take care of themselves.
Did you get support with editing, and how much editing did Shadow & Rose need?
Yes I paid for an editor when I self published the ebook. Then as part of the publishing package with The Unbound Press, they edited the book from their side too. The book took a lot of editing mainly because I write very long sentences!
What is the first piece of writing advice you would give to anyone inspired to write a book?
There is no perfect time. Just start. It does not have to be perfect and you can always tear it up and start again. Your story is enough to let you begin your book. You don’t even have to start at the start, just write something and feel into where it fits later!
Can you give me a hint about any further books you’re planning to write?
Yes I have another book coming out next year at some point. It’s called Enough! Healing from Patriarchy’s Cure of Too Much and Not Enough.
And, finally, are your proud of your accomplishment? Was it worth the effort?
I’m really bloody proud. Absolutely worth it.
Pop all your book, website and social media links here so the readers can find you:
@Reikirengebysarahwheeler
@youreenoughyogabysarahwheeler
https://www.youreenoughyoga.com/
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