On The Table Read Magazine, “the best book magazine in the UK“, in John Donoghue’s latest book, A Bonsai Tree Called Geoff – Police Stories I Probably Shouldn’t Share, he shares wildly funny, and bizarre anecdotes from his days in blue.
A Bonsai Tree Called Geoff
As with his previous three books, A Bonsai Tree Called Geoff by John Donoghue is filled with anecdotes from his twenty years spent in the police force. What makes this extra special is that these are the tales that he couldn’t tell whilst he was still serving! With his insights, observational prowess and razor-sharp wit, Donaghue’s storytelling brings the multitude of absurd situations he finds himself in vividly to life.
John Donoghue has served for twenty years as a front line police officer.
Is he the best cop on the streets?… No.
But does he go to work with a positive attitude and put 100% into every incident he attends?… Also No.
What he does is write about the funny, unusual, and bizarre jobs he goes to.
From arresting a bride at her own wedding, an Aztec style sacrifice, subversion in the ranks, a naked dog thief, an accidental kidnapping, disappointing a nun… these are true tales from the front line of policing, where fact is often stranger than fiction!
These are the tales he probably shouldn’t share.
With his writing garnering thousands of five-star reviews, John Donoghue’s memoirs are also very much based in the sobering realities of day-to-day life on our streets and in our towns. Having served in both England and Wales, his passion for his job, empathy and a comedic brilliance, shine through in A Bonsai Tree Called Geoff, leaves readers, once again, wanting more from this one in a million retired copper.
John Donoghue
Having served in police forces in both England and Wales, I have changed names and places to protect the guilty. I have used the imaginary ‘Sandford’ as the station at which I am based. This could be your local station!
With three bestselling books about my adventures in the police to date already published, my books are all imbued with humour, but have opened people’s eyes to what actually goes on behind the scenes (and led me to have to leave one forced and being banned by another Constabulary)… but now that I’m retired, I can, and do, really tell it like it is.
I am also a public speaker, conducting tongue in cheek presentations about the Ten Life Lessons I’ve learnt in the Police, and conduct medieval tours in my spare time.
-John Donoghue

Having served Queen, King & Country over 40 years in the military and Police, John Donoghue has also been awarded the Chief Constable’s Commendation for Bravery after saving a family of seven (and their dog and cat) from a house fire one Christmas Eve… and routinely been castigated for telling it like it is.
His previous police memoirs include ‘Police, Crime & 999’, ‘Police, Lies & Alibis’, and ‘Police, Arrests & Suspects’.
He has also previously written a humorous book about his military service and travels with his dog around the funny places in Great Britain – described as “Bill Bryson on Magic Mushrooms” when it first came out, it has now been updated and republished as ‘Tails of the Unexpected.’
Find more from John Donoghue now:
X (Twitter): https://www.twitter.com/johndonoghue64
A Bonsai Tree Called Geoff
Kindle: https://amzn.to/3UbqqjF
Police, Crime & 999
Kindle: https://amzn.to/4aqmz8V
Paperback: https://amzn.to/3U7E4p0
Police, Lies & Alibis
Kindle: https://amzn.to/4aHFwUq
Paperback: https://amzn.to/4aOtclg
Police, Arrests & Suspects
Kindle: https://amzn.to/3J7zYHf
Paperback: https://amzn.to/3U9pUDN
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References:
https://travelersqa.com/user/areastock80
Erectile dysfunction may also be a consequence of psychological factors, as libido
might rise sharply in an AAS consumer in the course of the cycle and infrequently hinder a healthy and mutual sexual relationship.
AS abuse suppresses the secretion of luteinizing hormone
and follicle-stimulating hormone that, in turn, leads to decreased spermatogenesis (5,6).
Studies of supraphysiological dosages of testosterone (an AS)
demonstrate that it provides efficient contraception in most wholesome men with baseline regular spermatogenesis (6).
By fostering a better understanding of the connections between steroid use and fertility, we will attempt to
advertise knowledgeable decision-making and safeguard reproductive well being.
A Number Of studies conclude that using anabolic steroids significantly decreased quality sperm parameters.
In one study of steroid-using bodybuilders, researchers discovered that only 17.7% of males with a history of using steroids had any morphologically normal sperm and only
7% had regular sperm counts. And another examine that adopted 20
male bodybuilders using anabolic steroids Clenbuterol vrouwen: een gids over dosering a 2-year period found that decreased fertility was one of the significant long-term opposed
results. Testosterone, follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH),
and luteinizing hormone (LH), are three key hormones that drive
male fertility.
For example, the variety of AAS abusers are uncommon in Eastern Asia but high in Brazil, Commonwealth countries, Europe and North America (Pope,
Wooden, et al., 2014b). In the search for peak bodily efficiency and muscle mass,
anabolic steroids have emerged as a well-liked, but
controversial, shortcut. These synthetic substances, designed to mimic the effects of the male intercourse hormone testosterone, promise enhanced energy and
stamina. Use of anabolic steroids can decrease the
manufacturing of sperm to infertile levels and
interrupt spermatogenesis (normal sperm development).
Surprisingly, statistical analysis didn’t demonstrate any vital
associations between profitable being pregnant and testosterone frequency of use,
dose, or particular agents used to mitigate
unwanted effects of therapy corresponding to antiestrogens.
The solely vital association recognized
was a longer period of testosterone use among men who achieved a
pregnancy whereas on testosterone compared to these who had been between cycles of AS.
This probably reflects the discovering that older men had longer durations of testosterone
use general and were extra more probably to attempt to attain a pregnancy during that time period as in comparison with their youthful counterparts.
One notable exception is nandrolone, which is converted into dihydronandrolone (DHN)
by 5α-reductase. Nevertheless, whereas testosterone is transformed into the more potent androgen DHT by 5α-reductase
(21), the conversion of nandrolone into DHN yields an androgen with considerably decrease binding affinity for the AR (77, 78).
Thus, whereas testosterone’s actions may be amplified in tissues expressing 5α-reductase, nandrolone’s actions might be diminished (21).
On the basis of this metabolism, the mixture of a 5α-reductase
inhibitor with nandrolone seems significantly misguided. To
manage this side effect, some AAS users resort to ancillary drugs
for therapy. This contains use of the oral prescription drug isotretinoin by
a small share of customers (65, 67).
In many clinical studies, multiple determinants have been found to affect its
outcome. Longer length and better doses of testosterone abuse
improve the recovery time of spermatogenesis after cessation of
testosterone use [24]. Pre-therapy small testicular volumes, aged age groups, Asian ethnicity,
excessive baseline serum FSH level, and subfertility before initiation of TRT also
impact recovery of fertility parameters [24–26]. The
allure of anabolic steroids for enhancing physical efficiency and muscle mass can’t overshadow the significant risks they pose, notably concerning male fertility and the potential for
birth defects. The evidence presented underscores the
detrimental effects these artificial substances can have on sperm manufacturing,
hormonal steadiness, and general reproductive health. There were 12 cohort research, 5 case–control studies, 9 cross-sectional surveys and
6 case reviews.
An example of this method can be a SERM (e.g. clomiphene
100mg each other day or tamoxifen 20mg twice a day) and anastrazole 1mg every other day.
Dehydroepiandrosterone, or DHEA, is a hormone precursor to testosterone that’s naturally produced by the
body. It was exempted from the Anabolic Steroid Management Act of 2004 as a end result of its designation as an “old dietary ingredient.” It is subsequently legal to promote within the United States as a dietary supplement, but its use is banned in organized sports competitions.
DHEA has some extent of direct exogenous androgenic exercise, and therefore must be avoided in men making an attempt to conceive a baby.
The concerted action of LH and FSH on the testes stimulates spermatogenesis, and suppression of these
hormones inhibits it. FSH acts immediately on spermatogenesis by activating FSH receptors
on Sertoli cells, whereas LH works not directly via stimulating testosterone production by activating LHCGRs
on Leydig cells, which in flip activates ARs on Sertoli cells (179).
Regardless Of testosterone being the first mediator of
LH’s impact on spermatogenesis, exogenous administration of testosterone cannot
help spermatogenesis. Intratesticular testosterone (ITT) ranges are about 50
to 100 times larger than in circulation (180) and exogenous administration severely suppresses this to ranges which are unable to assist spermatogenesis (181).
The key question that is still to be answered is whether
high dosages of AAS additional promote the event of male-pattern hair loss.
In the HAARLEM study, self-reported alopecia increased from 2%
at baseline to 12% at the finish of the cycle (39).
The research didn’t embody an goal measure of alopecia, which makes it troublesome to distinguish between a
true rise in incidence and a mere self-perceived
one.
In a study that evaluated groups of three men—men who
by no means used anabolic steroids, former anabolic steroid abusers, and current anabolic steroid misusers—it was discovered that anabolic steroid use has
long-term effects on a male’s capacity to provide testosterone.
Of the three teams, present customers of anabolic steroids had the bottom testosterone levels, and former users’ testosterone ranges had been notably decrease
than the group of males who never took anabolic steroids.
In most instances, these adverse results on sperm manufacturing have
been momentary, and could be reversed if the person stopped taking anabolic steroids.
Nonetheless, in some circumstances, patients skilled up to 5 years of azoospermia, a medical condition the place a
male is unable to supply any sperm. Some information about the improvement
of clitoromegaly are available from research in female-to-male transsexual patients.
In one research, stretched clitoral length increased from 1.4 cm at baseline
to 3 cm after four months of receiving 200 mg testosterone cypionate each different week (226).