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On The Table Read Magazine, “the best book magazine in the UK“, author Chris Middleton shares how the death of his abusive father inspired him to write his new book, An Insignificant Boy.
Written by JJ Barnes
I interviewed Chris Middleton about his life and career, why the death of his father inspired him to write his new book, An Insignificant Boy, and his creative writing process.
Tell me a bit about who you are.
My name is Chris Middleton. I am an author (previously of non-fiction, illustrated books), a tech journalist and a magazine/book editor. Under another name, I am a musician and front man of Brighton rock band, Space Angel. I live on Brighton seafront with a view out over the sea and the pier. I’m also an artist, designer, and photographer. A Man of Kent who grew up in Surrey, lived in London, and now dwells on the coast – within earshot of a million buskers, hen parties, and gigs on the beach.
‘An Insignificant Boy’ is my first foray into literature, though I have written poems and short stories all my life. Though written in a heightened, poetic, literary-fiction style, it is actually a true story – a memoir of my strange childhood. I grew up an imaginative child of the Space Age, obsessed with music and astronauts, and secretly gay. But my parents – deeply unhappy with each other – had me very late in life, under mysterious circumstances.
My father, who abused me, had spent two years in occupied Japan as a very young man. He served in Hiroshima, only months after the atomic bomb had dropped, and was deeply damaged by what he saw. My mother, too, lived through the Blitz, wanted romance, but instead married a man who ignored and belittled her. As a result, she, too, was lonely and bitter. Between them, they set out to try to make me hate myself as much as they hated themselves and each other.
My memoir is a story of generational conflict: what it was like to grow up a talented child of the modern world, full of hope, dreams, rock, pop, sci-fi, and new technology, with two angry, bitter, war-damaged people from another age. Plus, a boy who was secretly gay and in love with a neighbour’s son, at a time when that love ‘could not speak its name’.
The boy builds a radio station – aged just eight – to ask the outside world for help, to find someone to rescue him from his abusive father.
When did you first WANT to write a book?
This book began writing itself, the day after my father died in 2021. I realized that the little boy I used to be – Clix, my childhood nickname – needed the man I am now to write his story and explain the horror that befell him.
But ultimately, the book is uplifting and positive. It is bitter-sweet, with a happy ending. A horror story, but one full of humour, poetry, and moments of strange beauty. Certainly, it is an unusual tale.
When did you take a step to start writing?
When my father passed away, neither my sister nor I could find it in ourselves to speak at his funeral. Instead, we jotted down our thoughts and memories. The short piece I wrote became the basis for chapter one, and the rest of the book naturally followed.
How long did it take you to complete your first book from the first idea to release?
I have written several illustrated, non-fiction books this century, each of which took about 4-6 months. However, I regard ‘An Insignificant Boy’ as my first proper book, in the sense of being a complete piece of literature that captures my own voice, rather than my ‘professional voice’, if you like.
How long did it take you to complete your latest book from the first idea to release?
From conception to holding the paperback in my hand, ‘An Insignificant Boy’ took about two years. But six months of that was a delay at the publisher! I am producing an audio book version myself, recorded in my own studio.
Focusing on your latest release. What made you want to write An Insignificant Boy?
My father’s passing – just months after the loss (to Covid) of my brother-in-law, whom my father never accepted – made me realise that I was still angry about his treatment of me and my sister. I realized that the little boy I was deserved better than the lifetime of abuse and psychological horror that he had to endure – until he escaped.
What were your biggest challenges with writing An Insignificant Boy?
That the book was so personal, so open, that people would be shocked by some of the revelations about my father – especially friends and members of my family. But they have been very supportive.
Who or what inspired you when creating your Protagonist?
Unusually, my protagonist is the boy I once was – a very different person to the man he became. But did he invent me to rescue him, or did he give me a future? That’s a question that the book considers. Plus, it also explores the concepts of time, relativity, secrecy, old age, and love.
Who or what inspired you when creating your Antagonist?
Sadly, my antagonist was a real person, my father. And, to a lesser extent, my mother was antagonist too, though having written the book, I believe I finally understand her. My father’s actions, however, remain baffling and unknowable. He remains a dark mystery. A monster, in many ways… despite being a man of learning, refinement, and talent.
What is the inciting incident of An Insignificant Boy?
My father’s passing triggered the book. However, the key event in the book is the little boy I was, aged eight, building a radio station – out of an electronics kit, an old radio, and an umbrella covered in tinfoil – to ask the outside world for help. To this day, I marvel that I managed to do that in days that were pre-internet and pre-mobile phones. I needed help, so I improvised the means to ask for it. I am very proud of that.
What is the main conflict of An Insignificant Boy?
On the surface, it is between the dreamer I was as a boy and the two angry, war-damaged people who created me. However, beneath the surface, the real conflict is my desire to stay positive, hopeful, and creative against overwhelming sadness and tragedy. Sadly, I did not always succeed. In the words of Stevie Smith’s poem, I was ‘not waving, but drowning’.
Did you plot An Insignificant Boy in advance, or fly by the seat of your pants and write freely?
As a true story, a memoir, the plot was there for the taking. However, I wanted it to appear like a fractured portrait – like a Cubist painting, which reveals its protagonist from many different angles simultaneously. As a result, the narrative moves backwards and forwards in time, freely, from infancy to middle age.
The Japanese concept of ‘kintsugi’ is central to the book: the idea of a broken cup or vase being repaired with gold, so that the damage is explicit, yet beautiful. So, the fractured narrative suggests this idea too: that the author is broken – but held together with the ‘gold’ of memory, dreams, friendship, and love.
Did you get support with editing, and how much editing did An Insignificant Boy need?
I did not get much support or help. In effect, I edited and reworked the book myself many times until I felt it worked. The publishers spent six weeks with it, but only changed one word! That word is now incorrect in the book – much to my amusement. They introduced an error, which changed the meaning of the sentence it was in. I have no idea why!
What is the first piece of writing advice you would give to anyone inspired to write a story?
Write 1,000 words every day before noon, even if they are terrible. Keep doing it and, at some point, your real voice will emerge and make itself heard. Then you have begun the real work of your life.
Can you give me a hint about any further books you’re planning to write?
Yes, I am writing a much funnier book: a memoir of being on the fringes of the media. Absurd encounters with famous people, plus some infamous ones. (If you want to know how I once caused a diplomatic incident with a famous politician, while accompanied by a giant penguin, then my next book is the one for you!)
And, finally, are your proud of your accomplishment? Was it worth the effort?
The boy I was is finally at peace. So, emphatically it was worth the effort, yes.
Pop all your book, website and social media links here so the readers can find you:
Kindle: https://amzn.to/4ci8snv
Paperback: https://amzn.to/3PoYg2R
Me: https://chrismiddleton.company
Space Angel (band): www.SpaceAngel.rocks
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