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On The Table Read Magazine, “the best creativity magazine in the UK“, Kristina Mand-Lakhiani’s new book explores the concept of Hermione Syndrome, and how to fight it by #BecomingFlawesome.
Have you wondered what would be the perfect life for you? The perfect holiday? The perfect…
Thinking about this came to me by reading “Becoming Flawsome“, Kristina Mand-Lakhiani’s new book launched on June, 13, 2023.
It made me think a lot about what it means to be “perfect” and how perfectionism can literally hurt us in many ways!
She labels perfectionism as “Hermione syndrome”, which is basically about turning on your outer critic, as the popular character does.
Why is it important to diagnose if you have “Hermione’s syndrome”?
Basically, from my point of view, the point is that if you want to achieve excellence, you can’t dwell on perfectionism and judgment. How often do you get stuck on taking action because you expect yourself to be perfect and don’t act because the result is not what you want?
I personally feel happier when I do things creatively, not worrying about the result that much… or not worrying about how much I’m going to be criticized along the way…
Also, it has to do with happiness, feelings of freedom, and even how we tackle our responsibilities!
The book is about embracing the opportunity to achieve excellence without judgment and criticism. How to do that? Well, I believe it starts by gaining awareness and acceptance of when you are judging yourself or others!
One tip I found really helpful is how to start by gaining awareness. You can set a timer a few times daily just to notice what is going on: how you are thinking and how you are talking to yourself! Because we sometimes talk to ourselves in ways that make us reflect if we would speak to someone we love like that.
How so? How is happiness -or the lack of it- related to being judgemental?
If you work like little Hermione, you may miss some sacrifices you are making in your life.
When we judge others, we are also judging ourselves. And when we judge and criticize others, we are also judging and criticizing ourselves.
How can we solve it? Well, it is about paying attention to just one thing and forgetting other things that might be just as important for your work and life! Because to achieve excellence, we must also enjoy the process along the way.
Sometimes, we can experience contradictory feelings: do you crave success, but at the same time, you feel awkward going after it? When trying to achieve something, you can feel many unexplained emotions!
Even when you think you achieved what you desired, have you ever felt bad about having succeeded? Perfectionism might get in the way of enjoying the way and being happy while going where you want to go!
How to succeed and be excellent without the “Hermione Syndrome”
Kristina reveals in her book that she is an only child, born in the Soviet Union at the height of its idealistic and utopian existence. So, her natural desire to be “good” was the highest that could be. Peaked by being an only child!
The whole idea is that humans strive to be more of what we think is the perfect version of ourselves: The Perfect Me.
It also happens with social media: we strive for the perfect Instagram. And yet, there are people who might not like what we post! Also, it’s important because your happiness depends on your perfectionism, and Hermione’s syndrome can sometimes get in the way of that!
So, in my view, being good is only a part of achieving excellence. Have you ever listened to a good harp player that is just good? Meaning: well played, but no feelings into it. No emotion whatsoever! Just mechanical sound. If you strive to achieve excellence, sometimes, being good gets in the way!
About Kristina Mand-Lakhiani
Kristina Mand-Lakhiani is an international speaker, entrepreneur, artist, philanthropist, and mother of 2 kids. As a co-founder of Mindvalley, a leading publisher in the personal growth industry, Kristina dedicated the last 20 years of her career from teachers like Michael Beckwith, Bob Proctor, Lisa Nichols, and many more. Kristina is also the author of three transformational quests – “7 Days To Happiness“, “Live By Your Own Rules.” and “The Art of Being Flawesome”. Kristina talks about personal transformation, authenticity, understanding and accepting oneself, and a path to happiness.
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